


(she is) just like a maze

by stardustandswimmingpools



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, F/M, Fluff and Angst, LISTEN evan is CLEVER and WITTY and just because he's BURDENED, Male-Female Friendship, Meet-Cute, Nobody is Dead, Pre-Relationship, Sarcasm, Strangers to Friends, and THAT is the tea, canon events have been almost entirely ignored in this, connor is a shitty brother but we already knew that, corn maze, evan is a good writer headcanon, i invented a high school for this, jared is a questionable friend, oh THIS is a god tier meet cute, one corn pun i'm sorry i had to, that's not a tag but it should be, with ANXIETY doesn't mean you get to IGNORE THOSE FACTS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-01 18:54:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15780057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustandswimmingpools/pseuds/stardustandswimmingpools
Summary: Of course Zoe would manage to find the only other person who could possibly get lost in a corn maze. And ofcoursehe's having a panic attack.





	(she is) just like a maze

**Author's Note:**

> title is from John Mayer's "Daughters" which is not exactly a good anthem for this fic but it IS a beautiful song!!!  
> i don't remember when or how this idea struck me, but it sure did hit hard. i wrote this fic over a year ago but i think it's pretty good! and i am, as we all know, the pioneer for the Evan/Zoe ship (which i am very delighted to observe now has its very own ship tag! DEH fandom, i am proud of you. we did it.)  
> TW for panic attacks and one moment referencing evan's shitty Summer of Depression, but he doesn't actually say it. enjoy!

Zoe has never fully appreciated how much corn stalks can look like people when it’s dark.

Like, Zoe’s not afraid of the dark, but everyone has those moments where they’re about to fall asleep in their room and suddenly they see, like, a pile of laundry on a desk chair and they think,  _ that's a human being in my bedroom! _

The corn maze feels like being in that moment but forever. Everywhere Zoe turns — and she’s made plenty of turns — she almost has a heart attack because there’s another leaf shaped  _ suspiciously _ like a hand, or whatever.

She checks her phone again, which is getting dangerously low on battery, hanging on at 18%. It's 9:26, which means there's still forty-four minutes until the maze closes and everyone is ushered out. Until then, she's completely on her own, hooray. Lost in a fucking corn mazes. There's one for the kids. Or the repression box in the back of her mind. Whichever.

She turns right randomly, ‘cause what the hell, and nearly has another heart attack at a figure that looks like a shadow, or maybe a statue, crouched in the corner opposite her, unmoving.  _ Just your imagination _ , she reminds herself. “Jesus,” she mutters.

The figure’s head snaps up and it leaps to its feet. “Who's that?”

Zoe shrieks. “What the  _ fuck! _ ” If it's a ghost, it won't enjoy being greeted with an expletive, but that's not really top of Zoe’s list of priority thoughts. 

“Just — it's just me,” the figure says, obviously a boy, and corporeal, so that's...better than the alternative. “Who's that?”

“Zoe,” Zoe says. Upon realizing this is fundamentally useless information, she adds, “Lost in this dumbass maze. You?”

The boy is hard to make out in the rapidly descending darkness, but his breath appears to be coming in quick, shallow inhales. That's not good, Zoe deduces. But she's short-tempered right now, pissed off at her stupid brother for abandoning her and not returning her texts, so she pretends not to notice. She feels a little guilty for it, so she puts that in the repression box too.

“Uh,” he says, “Evan, my name is Evan, sorry, I'm — just, if you could just, go ahead, find — the way out, I don't mean to — to stop you or — I'm sure you're very — busy —” He's definitely breathing abnormally now. Zoe sighs and takes pity.

“Dude, everything okay?” she asks, taking a step closer to see him better. He's got on a blue striped shirt and jeans and a cute face drawn with anxiousness. He takes a breath before answering. 

“Just fine, everything — fine — could you just, you're standing really close and I, um, it's, I, you should — you can leave, I'm not offended.”

“Evan, cut it out. I'm not leaving, you're — you're having a breakdown!” Zoe says sternly, worry dropping like a stone in her gut. Of course, just her luck to find the one kid who's having a panic attack in a fucking corn maze. He's shaking and drawing into himself, and she takes a couple steps back, eyes on him.

“Hey, okay, I'm not gonna hurt you, buddy,” she says cautiously. “Take a deep breath, alright?”

Evan presses against the wall of the maze, hollow breaths making his words raspy. “I — don't — it's okay — I'll be fine.”

“Evan,” Zoe commands, “deep breaths. Come on, with me. In and out, right?”

Evan nods, losing all fight. “In and — and out,” he manages, and takes a shuddering breath in before exhaling in the same shaky way.

Zoe walks over to him and takes his hand. “Deep breaths, Evan. In and out. With me.” She inhales deeply and waits for him to follow suit, then breathes out alongside him.

“Good. Again.” She repeats it, and a couple minutes later, he's breathing normally, and holding her hand very tightly, which Zoe presumes he's doing without meaning to. 

He exhales once more, then smiles gratefully. “Thanks,” he mumbles, and, noticing their linked hands, yanks his back with a fierce blush and muttered apologies. 

“No problem,” Zoe replies, surprised to find that she means it. Calming Evan has calmed her, and she smiles back. “So, lost, huh? Really sucks.”

Evan tilts his head in confusion, affixing her with a guarded look. “Y-yeah, it does.”

She waits for him to tell her what he's expecting her to do — grow another head? Slap him? — but he doesn't say anything further, just keeps watching her. “What?” she demands. 

Immediately, Evan casts his eyes elsewhere, locked on the of opposite wall of the maze. “Nothing, just…I figured you’d want to — to, you know. Leave.”

Zoe raises an eyebrow. “Do you  _ want  _ me to leave?” Way to impress a girl, Evan. 

Evan looks at her, stricken. “No! No — I mean, I don't care if you — I…” He shakes his head. “I thought  _ you  _ wanted to leave.”

“What gave you that impression?” A small voice in the back of Zoe’s head whispers  _ maybe if you hadn't been so bitchy before.  _ She swats it away with her mental flyswatter.

Evan shrugs. “Most — I mean, most people would.”

“I'm not most people, then, am I?” Zoe challenges. She grins, and Evan, seeing this, grins back uncertainly.

Zoe hates grass, but she's not a fan of standing around, either, and a quick phone check tells her it's 9:32 and they've got some time to kill. Misery loves company, right? So she says, “Come on, let's sit. No one's gonna come rescue us, may as well wait it out.”

Evan watches her sit down with a wary expression before sitting down himself, extending his legs outwards into the path and leaning against the wall of the maze. Zoe mimics his position. Their legs  _ almost _ touch.

“O-okay,” he says. “Um, did...did you come here with someone?”   
Zoe tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and sighs. “Yeah, my stupid brother. He’s an asshole.”

Evan laughs nervously. “I came with my friend too. Also an asshole.”

“Yeah? We should form a club,” Zoe jokes. “People With Asshole Relatives and/or Friends.”

“That’s kind of a long name,” Evan observes. 

Zoe snorts. “We can abbreviate. P-W-A-R-F. Pwarf.”

“Pwarf?” Evan repeats, chuckling. “That’s — um, that’s a weird name.”

“Perfect. I love weird. So what’s your friend’s name?” Zoe asks. “Do you go to Lincoln High? You seem very vaguely familiar.”

“I graduated last year,” Evan says, glancing over at her. “You — I don’t really recognize you.”

“I’m a senior this year,” Zoe says, tearing at the grass in handfuls to occupy herself. It comes out of the ground without a struggle. “I play in jazz band.”

“Cool!” Evan enthuses, and then clears his throat. “I mean, normal cool. That’s neat. I love jazz band.”

Zoe laughs. “So do I.”

“My friend is Jared,” Evan tells her. “Kleinman. He graduated with me. He’s going to the state college, so he dragged me here.”

“Are you at the state college?”

Evan pauses, glancing down at his hands, which have begun fidgeting with the hem of his shirt in his lap. “Uh, well, actually, I’m taking classes at the community college,” he says. “Uh, taking a year off. From school.”

“Mental health break,” Zoe says, nodding. “I get it.”

“No, just a...saving-money break,” Evan tells her, and Zoe turns and looks at him. He continues, “My mom and I, we’re...not so well off. So I’m taking a break. I do work at Pottery Barn, though. If you — never mind.”

“If I…” Zoe prompts. It’s unfair to start a sentence like that and then leave her hanging.

Evan says, “I was going to say I have a ten percent discount for family and friends so if you want anything from there I can help you out but I don’t know how much we really count as ‘friends’ since we’ve only known each other for like fifteen minutes.” 

Zoe chuckles. “That’s nice of you, thanks. I might stop by. If we ever get out of this damn maze.”

“What time is it? My phone died,” Evan says, twirling his fingers around the grass beside his leg. 

Zoe represses the urge to grab his hand. Instead, she clicks her phone on. “Nine thirty-nine,” she announces. “Twenty-one more minutes in this hellscape. Make ‘em count, Evan.”

-

Twenty-one minutes pass like seconds as soon as Evan gets comfortable. He’s good, interesting conversation, not afraid to contradict her, even if he  _ does _ end most of his sentences with an apology. He’s also clever. And it seems like he’s full to bursting with thoughts, words, and ideas, and he hasn’t gotten to express them in so long. Zoe begins to wonder about the loyalty of this Jared kid. She only knows his name from hearing it passed around friends of friends in disdain. And she doesn’t know Evan, just knows that his writing was once on display on Main Street at Lincoln when Zoe was a junior. She stopped and read it once on a whim and it was extraordinary and moving and Zoe was wiping tears from her eyes when she finished it. The author’s name hadn’t stuck in her head, but learning that his name is Evan Hansen recalls it to her.

She’s tempted to ask him about it, and only does so four minutes before ten o’clock. There’s a lull, so Zoe says, “Hey, so I remember where I know your name from.”

Evan frowns. “Where?”

“Your writing,” Zoe says. “You had that piece that was up on Main Street for like a month. I read it.”

Evan’s eyes widen. “You — you read that? I wanted them to take it down, but they kept saying things like ‘it sends a powerful message’ and ‘it’s very good writing, Evan’ and I kept asking them to take it down but —”

“It was good,” Zoe interrupts, patting his leg reassuringly. “Relax. I was impressed. You really…” She pauses, gathers her thoughts, strings her words together. “It felt like you were inside my head.”

Evan stares at her, speechless. Her hand is still on his thigh, and she wants to pretend like she forgot it was there, even though she can very distinctly  _ feel _ it.

“Oh,” he whispers. He clears his throat, his gaze unmoving. “Thank you.”

Zoe swallows and pulls her hand away against her own will. “What was it about? I mean exactly. It didn’t...it was really...metaphorical.” After a moment, she adds, “You don’t have to tell me, I was just wondering.”

“No, it’s okay.” Evan takes a deep breath. “Uh, I...I was in a bad place the summer before my senior year. I, well, I…” He swallows thickly and Zoe suddenly regrets asking. She doesn’t take it back. She doesn’t want to. “It was...bad. We had a writing assignment at the beginning of senior year to write about our summers and everyone wrote about Paris and Venice and carousels and shopping and beaches and I, well, I didn’t...have that.” He tears out a fistful of grass, but it really doesn’t look like he knows he’s done it. “So I wrote that as my assignment instead, and when I turned it in my teacher asked me to stay after class and then she asked if she could put it up on Main Street. I didn’t want her to but I’m not, I’m not good at saying no, so I just kind of stood there looking ridiculous and half-nodding, and a couple days later there it was.”

Zoe tilts her head towards him. “Jesus.”

Evan nods. “It’s — it’s fine, really. I mean, I don’t think anyone really knew who I was, so it wasn’t a big deal. I just didn’t walk on Main Street for a month.”

“You  _ didn’t walk on Main Street? _ ” Zoe repeats, incredulous. “Evan, Main Street is the main hallway of our school! How did you just  _ not _ walk there?”

Evan shrugs. “I have very refined avoidance abilities.” He laughs a little, and Zoe feels herself grow relieved that he’s laughing, because for a hot second it really seemed like he was going to cry, and Zoe’s not sure if she can deal with that. Either that, or she doesn’t want him to cry because — well, when you find the only other person who could possibly get  _ lost _ in a  _ corn maze _ , you form a bond, and maybe she cares about him now. Sue her.

And also, he’s really cute and charming and funny and bright and he’s got eyes that shine when he’s talking about things he cares about and there are dirt smudges on his t-shirt where he didn’t notice he was smudging it and damn it, she likes him.

She’s  _ allowed, _ okay?

Evan notices her silence and says uncertainly, “Zoe?”

Zoe blinks. “Yeah?”

Evan studies her face. “Thanks. For, you know.”

“Being your knight in shining armor?” Zoe teases. “Rushing to your heroic rescue?”

“Staying with me,” Evan says simply. “You didn't have to.”

The sound of footsteps interrupts them, and they stand up simultaneously just as a flashlight beams right in their eyes. Zoe looks away from the light as the holder of the flashlight says, “Are you two lost?” Zoe nods. “Good thing we did a sweep, then. Follow me.” She turns around and Zoe follows, Evan trailing close behind like any more distance would electrocute him.

Once they've been safely deposited in the real world again and Evan has stammered out his thank-yous to the kind woman who saved them, Zoe says, “Do you have a pen?”

Evan blinks. “Yeah,” he says, tugging it out of his pocket. Zoe takes it, clicks it open, and grabs Evan’s arm. He doesn't protest as she writes her phone number on the back of his hand.

“Call me,” she says. “Or text me. Whatever.”

Evan frowns. “To — to, like, to talk? To me?”

Zoe wants to hug him until he realizes he's not as bad as he thinks he is. “No, so I can turn you in to the police,” she deadpans. “ _ Yes, _ to talk to you, dummy. I think you're interesting, and we’re friends.”

“We are?” Evan says, stunned, which makes Zoe giggle.

“Yeah, why not,” she answers, smiling. When he slowly smiles back, it feels like she's glowing. Not to be cliche, or anything. “You know, I gotta be honest, the fact that we didn’t make a single corn pun while stuck in there is probably a crime.”

Evan breathes a laugh. His eyes light up. “Yeah, well. Aw, shucks.”

Zoe snickers. “I gave you that one. I’ll let you have that. Even though it wasn’t a- _ maze _ -ing.”

“Oof,” Evan says.

Zoe glances over at the street reluctantly. “I should go — my brother…”

“Oh! Right, yeah, your brother,” Evan says, straightening up. “And Jared. I should go too. But, um, it was really — really nice to meet you, Zoe. And thanks for helping me with — well — yeah. Um, bye?”

“No hug for your survival partner?” Zoe says jokingly, and Evan chuckles as she steps into his arms for a hug. He's solid and just a bit taller and warm and he hugs like...like he hasn't been hugged in a really long time. The thought saddens Zoe, so she reaches up and kisses his cheek before pulling away. It leaves her blushing like mad, but so is he, and he doesn't form another comprehensible word as she tucks her hair behind her ear and manages, “See you, Evan.” 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! i am only tumblr [@vivilevone](http://vivilevone.tumblr.com) or my lesser-used but more deh-inclined blog @do-you-ever-really-crash, so feel more than welcome to drop by on either of those blogs and say hey! i'm always down to talk about DEH.  
> also, i just want to say that i think the fact that zoe thought evan was an actual ghost is the funniest thing in the entire world.  
> 'til the next one!


End file.
